After I was married we went through a trying time of adjustment. It had been nearly three years since we had seen each other, (Curtis was gone overseas for WWII) and we had both gone with other people while he was gone by mutual consent.
After we married he got some letters from a girl and she didn't know he was married. He let me read them. Oh, I became so insanely jealous I was sick. I didn't let him know I was, but it ate at me constantly. I could not relax in his arms at night wondering if he might be wishing it were her. Finally, I got in such a state of mind I had nowhere to turn. I couldn't dare talk to anyone about it for my pride's sake. One day I fell down before the Lord and poured out my heart. You see, after God had answered my prayers and brought this man home safely to me, I had forgotten about God. I had forgotten the many times I had trusted him and He had never let me down. I said, "Lord, I do not know if Curtis loves this other girl or not. I have imagined all sorts of things and I am sick with jealousy. I know that is a sin and it is ruining my life. Take this terrible disease from me and help me to be the kind of loving wife that he needs." I cried before the Lord a long time. That night when we went to bed I opened my heart to my husband and told him my fears--my sin of jealousy and asked him to help me. He had not realized what was wrong with me and he laughed and took me in his arms and assured me of his love for me---and, oh, the burden was gone, and joy and happiness came rushing in. It was the beginning of our "good marriage" because we told each other we should always talk these things out instead of keeping them to ourselves where they grow bigger by the day.
Read my next entry - "Colorado Prayers"
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